Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
