I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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