Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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