I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
ttyl tear gas
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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