Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
