why didn't you poke me back
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
