...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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