girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
