so explain again why im purple
no
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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