Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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