Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
