My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
