It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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