Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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