He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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