So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
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All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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