Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
