My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Will exercising make me less horny?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
