apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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