I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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