Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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