Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
