Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
