I smell stomach acid.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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