Christians are straight up FREAKS
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
