I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
