I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
