i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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