just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
