Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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