So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is wine microwaveable?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
