Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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