mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
