After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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