i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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