why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
