No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
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My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm too high and old for this...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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