my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
