You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
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I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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