now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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