I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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