Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
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I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
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I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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