Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
