I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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