PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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