So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm passing your future prison.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
