It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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