Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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