We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
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Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
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I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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