It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Randomize
