why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
