wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
