I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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