it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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