Im at strip club and am horny
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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