I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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