Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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