You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
