I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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