But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
